I had a personal pet called Mini Ma which means ‘little mother’ in Spanish. Mini was a rescue dog and came with a few issues. We bonded instantly and I soon realized that she was extremely intelligent. Probably smarter than me, and so we started our life together.
Notice I used the word ‘had’. That’s because I no longer have a Personal Pet. Over our daily morning coffee conversation last week, Mini let me know in no uncertain terms that she was no one’s Personal Pet. In fact, she was pissed at me. She was sneaking around and overheard my conversation with a friend where I was expounding on how smart my PP was and she decided to put me in my place. After all, all I’m good for is filling her food dish, right?
- she stopped talking to me
- she did not look at me
- she didn’t beg for treats or food
- she glared at me
- she ignored me completely
- she even farted in bed
By the third day I had had enough! I said OK Mini, what’s the problem?
She said in her very clear doggie speak…..I am Miss Mini Ma, and I am a Personal Companion, not a Personal Pet, and further more, you have insulted me. I have decided I want my own Resume and I want it published on-line. I may be looking for new accommodations!
Well, that one threw me for a loop.
- First off, how can she be Miss Mini Ma when obviously she has been a mother. Mother’s are not Miss, they are Mrs.
- Secondly, how can she be a Personal Companion when she’s a dog????? Just because she thinks she’s a human….ha ha
- Thirdly, dogs don’t have resumes and they certainly don’t publish them online, no matter how pissed off they are
Again I tried praising the virtues of a Personal Pet, but she wasn’t having any part of that. She turned her back on me yet again.
Well, now I was getting anxious. What the heck was going on. My best friend seemed to hate me all of a sudden. So, I though why not humor her. I went online searching for doggie resumes. I figured since she can’t read, she wouldn’t know if I found one or not. If nothing else, I would wing it.
Using reverse psychology, I cautiously called out..Miss Mini Ma, putting lots of emphasis on the Miss, where are you? Where oh where is my Personal Companion this fine morning. Coffee is getting cold.
Well, she came bounding out of her favorite hiding place, big smiles, ears flapping and lots of licks. I had been redeemed. I was loved again.
Whew, thank goodness….back to normal. Then I saw that gleam in her eyes and I knew I was still on the shit list.
OK, OK, I’ll do your damn resume today but ….. we will not publish …. we will not look for new companions. You will remain my Personal Companion. OK?
Attached find personal resume of one Miss Mina Ma
Miss Mini Ma, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Born 2010
Education: University of Life
Languages Spoken: Spanish, English
- Ball Toss
- Prancing and dancing
- Running around in circles
- Licking all body parts
- Barking in a loud shrill offensive voice
- House broken
- Sit, Stay, Come….works in progress
- Watching TV
- Running on the beach
- Playing with toys
- Staring for hours at imagined Iguana’s
- Crowding mom off couch
- Crowding mom off bed
- Dancing with mom
- Stalking all moving creatures
- Sniffing everything and everybody
Contact: sorry, can’t come to the phone right now.
So Mini, that about covers it. You happy now?